just thoughts

Some more thoughts!!!!!

2005-05-18T14:39:00.000+05:00

So, im finally outta my gynae ward,and now I've landed into Surgery for atleast two whole months. Got my test marks in gynae,and well,...........MISS EFFICIENT has got 80% marks, better not tell anyone, it would ruin my reputation in the university.
Gosh!!!!these surgery people are total nuts, they want us to actually complete the evenings and do not let us go until 8:00 p.m.so I don't reach home until it's 10:00 p.m. and then I ahve to come alone at night, me the poor little child !!!!
I had to do the dressing of a patient yesterday, suffering from an abscess(swellings full of pus), and thought it was dirty, I was more aware fo the pain,that I feel,each time I touched her to clean,she cried out with pain.
Sometimes,I feel,I won't be able to go through with this,I'll stop going to the hospital and would not see any patient anymore,but then I realize, if people who're thought to be as brave as me ,will act thsi way,then who will work for removal of sufferings from this world.So I summon up my courage and stand upto all these tasks.
And good that I think this way,because well......I've got friends around me who loose consciousness when the see blood........hahahaha!!!!!
sorry,shouldn't laugh,I could have been that weak myself,but thanks to Allah,He's given me the strength and courage to face all this, and thus,it is my duty, I feel to become a very good doctor.
I hope and I pray that I succeed in this task bestowed on me.Ameen

MISERIES OF LIFE

2005-05-01T02:03:00.000+05:00

WHOOSH!!!!!! what a time I'm having classes,wards,patients,histories,examinations,intravenous/intramuscualr injections, O.P.D., canula passing practicals,and Allah alone knows what!!!!! Tough, tiring,and yet, extremely entertaining. Yet there are times,in the ward,when i actually cry with tears,the misery, the pain, the sufferings, sometimes,it's too much too bear.
yesterday only,I'd been entering the hospital.A lot of other students were entering as well, but everyone's speed was cut off by a very old man, walking with a stick in one hand,and the other holding the tube of a catheter, alongwith the gate.He was walking with much difficulty.All the students passed by him as that time is actually rush time for all of us,adn we have to reach our wards on time. Looking at him,I remembered my own grandfather,and imagined him walking like that,all alone,and having no one to help him, and then i thought of myself(God forbid),in his place,and couldn't help shuddering at teh very thought. As soon as that man had passed the gate,he could walk no further,because the wall a little distance away,and he was too weak, to be able to walk even a step more,without assistance. At that point, I couldn't control myself, though I too had passed by him, but I'd been turning around,and watching his progress.So, i told my friends to go ahead,and returned.My both hands were full of books,therefore, I asked a man standing at the kidney O.P.D to go and help that man reach the O.P.D atleast.I was sure that once he'll reach there, there would be doctors kind enough to help him out.Atleast in government hospitals you can still find such kind people.I was relieved to find that young man,reacdy to help the old one, and after I saw that he was safely being brought, I ran for my own ward.
But for a long long time, the thoughts of that man,kept me shaken,and I prayed to my Allah fervently,not to let me live until that age,or even if i have to live, I don't want to live in such misery.and I also prayed that may Allah give me the strength to help such people more and may this feeling never leave my heart, no matter what happens in my own life.
After all, it's the feelings that govern our actions,and if the feelings are good,kind,and honourable,then only, our personailty becomes so.
Anyway, since then, my interest in studies has increased,because if I don't study, I won't become a good enough doctor,and if I dont become a good enough Doctor, how am I supposed to help people? right?
I pray that none of us reach that point where we become reliable on others for even to walk,drink and eat.

I'M BACK

2005-03-26T03:01:00.000+05:00

Yep! I’m back after a long longgggggg break. dono if ill be able to keep on coming back because i'm finally in third yr now, and i have passed my exams. yayyyyyyyyy. it had been a strain on my nerves thinking what may happen, and my fears had been right, though many people will not think so, because the bestest of students have not been able to get through. anywayzzzzz! Finally the yr’s over, and im bent on forgetting it! hehehe! therez so much left to be done. I’m freaking out. Running from here to there, trying to handle many things at a time, and completing them if im able to.
Yesterday all of us friends went to another friend's place, and it was sooooooooooo much fun. We cooked and had a late lunch, and watched Inzamam and Younis play so well. Then we went to Mc Donald's and then to another friend's place and then my brother picked me up for home. It all had been great fun.
Apart from that I had a tough time in some of the things I did yesterday. Useless talking about disturbing things, they are only to be learnt from and then forgotten! Isn’t it?

Oh yes! Have to blog about this one thing that is very very special. We are having our convocation of Intermediate, and ALLLLLLL my friends are coming there IA. I’m sooooooooooo very happy and excited about meeting them all. The fun we've had in college, it’s all unforgettable. WE THE GANG. The backbenchers and the people on top of the Vice Principal's hitlist! hehehehehe! Yes! Even the girls. The mischief makers, and the notorious section L of our college. Gosh! It’s gonna be so much fun being together again for once and doing all the stupidities we used to do! And with all that we'll be recieving our certificates for all the numerous things we used to do. I’m so excited about it all.

FRIENDS old or new...........will always remain friends, a ray of sunshine in our lives they'll bring whenever they meet, and make us feel important and wanted, making life worthy of living! Thank you all my friends out there.
I MISS YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!no one is like you, and no one can ever be!

Words Women Use

2005-02-03T21:46:00.000+05:00

Fine = This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right andyou need to shut up.

Five Minutes = If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is onlyfive minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the gamebefore helping around the house.

Nothing = This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you shouldbe on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

Go Ahead = This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh = Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood bymen. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she iswasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

That's Okay = This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard beforedeciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks = This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a womanis thanking you, do not question it, just say you're welcome and backout of the room slowly.

PLEASE HELP THIS YOUNG DOCTOR.

2005-01-17T23:07:00.000+05:00

This is an appeal for immediate help for a young dr., of only 23 yrs of age, who recently completed her medicine, in the yr 2004, but was diagnosed, as a patient of ACUTE MYELOGENOUS LEUKEMIA (blood cancer). here are the details:

Dr Sobia Parveen
House Ofiicer Civil Hospital Karachi.
Dow graduate of batch of 2004.
Admitted for treatment at AKU khi.
(M.R. no.117-82-18)

CONTACT:
V.C DUHS Prof.Masood Hameed Khan ( 92-21-9215732)
H.OD. Physiology Department Prof. Shoaib Tauheed. (92-303-6236282)
Dean Faculty of Medicine Prof. I.B.Soomro. (92-300-9203773)

PLEASE DONATE:

ACC.no: 101211185
UBL-BABA-EURDU ROAD BRANCH.
KARACHI.

Please donate all you can, it's about the life of a young doctor.A little help from you can save her life. She may not have much time, therefore, please be quick.

2005-01-10T19:37:00.000+05:00

the weblink for arydigital donation collection is:

http://www.arydigital.tv/heal
go ahead and donate all you can.

HELP APPEALS AGAIN!

2005-01-07T02:28:00.000+05:00

Today i saw a program coming on arydigital,which they were running to collect donations for the tsunami victims by the name of HEAL(HEALP ASIAN LIVES). They were able to collect above 15 crore rupees from Pakistanis and Indians all over the world.Their program continues, and since i've already given a lot of information regarding ways in which Pakistanis can help, noted down these contact nos. through which the Indians can directly donate for their own people, and others as well.
here they are:

Contact nos:
+914027907680
+914027901239
+914027901426

So please help all you can.

MORE INFO!!!!!!!!!!

2005-01-05T23:15:00.000+05:00

Back with a really interesting site, using which not only you can help the tsunami victims, but also can help MANY countries in many other ways, including Pakistan,India, Bangladesh etc.DO VISIT IT, im everyone who wants to really do something for the humanity will like this site:
www.reliefonline.org

Here's a message i'd recieved from them:
.

The world's most powerful earthquake in 40 years triggered massive tidal waves that slammed into villages and coastal lines across southern and Southeast Asia.
More than 135,000 people are known to have died after a massive underwater earthquake sent giant waves crashing into coastlines across southern Asia, mostly in Indonesia, Sri Lanka, India, Maldives, Thailand, Bangladesh, Malaysia, & Myanmar.
This devastating earthquake left behind tens of thousands people injured. Millions are homeless in need of food, clean water, medicines, tents and other life saving items.
This time every single person of the world is contributing either through donation or prayers to those needy people. Right now we are not looking the cast, race, religion or tradition; we are working only for humanity. Today we all unite on humanity basis.
Last Saturday, I was thinking about to send Qurbani (Zabiha) meat to those places and also watching TV about the program helping those people through different nation, organizations and so on. I saw a very good and heart touching work in Sri Lanka. One of the Bear (Liquor) company has stopped their production and all the workers make a mind to do one good thing for helping those needy people. They are filling every single bottle only with drinking water and donating those areas free. So think that what we can do best also like that people.
As a Muslim can we send Qubani (Zabiha) meat to them and Allah will give reward us. We eat meat every day and to do Qubani and distribute among our families and friends. Can we donate and distribute these Qurbani (Zabiha) meats among those needy and helpless people and get 2 rewards from Allah. One is Qurbani and the 2nd to send to the neediest people who are waiting for our help.
Please help these people this time, send checks or pay through Credit card for them. Go and visit web site www.reliefonline.org and find your best and get also receipt for your own satisfaction.
Indonesia is the worst disaster place right now. I have talked and confirmed all, to the organization. They already had added Indonesia and Sri Lanka this year because of this Natural disaster. For one goat/lamb it is $95 for Indonesia and $75 in Sri Lanka. Rest of the countries you can find through web site.
If you have any question to satisfy yourself:
1- Visit website: www.reliefonline.com
2- emai, mailing address and telephones:
ICNA Relief Global Zabiha Program
166-26
89th Avenue
Jamica, NY 11432
USA
Tel: 718-658-7028
info@reliefonline.org

ICNA Relief Global Zabiha Program
12346 McDougall Avenue
Detroit, MI 48212
USA
Tel: 313-366-6800
icnarelief@aol.com

For Canada:
ICNA Relief Global Zabiha Program
391 Burnhamthrope Road
E.Oakville
ON L6H 7B4
Canada
canada@reliefonline.org
My understanding (iman) is; if you are rich and living among rich community, you can help and hide your good deeds from others, but if you are not rich and want to help others so expand your good deeds amongst your families, friends and community so your good work can expand and will help in fruitful manners. Please help those people from your Qurbani (Zabiha) meat this year not only for your satisfaction but also for Allah.
Thank you
Brother Jawaid
Iqra786@yahoo.com
402-556-2004

The Pakistanis, and others as well, can also donate by just deposting money in STATE BANK OF PAKISTAN, and it's treasuries, ALLIED BANK OF PAKISTAN, MUSLIM COMMERCIAL BANK, HABIB BANK LIMITED, UNITED BANK LIMITED and NATIONAL BANK OF PAKISTAN and their treasuries, in the name of PRESIDENT RELIEF FUND. It will all be transfered to the tsunami hit countries through the govt.itself. So wherever you are, you can simply deposit your donations this way.

MORE INFO REGARDING TSUNAMI RELIEF

2005-01-03T17:19:00.000+05:00

Well maybe I don't need to inform you all, but the home pages of websites like msn, yahoo, and many others have donation campaigns going on, so another easy way to donate.

I have some news for the Dowiites as well.
All of my friends from Dow university of Health Sciences can now donate within the college only. there are camps set up infront of the girls' cafetaria, in boys' cafetaria, and in the girls' and boys' hostels.
kindly donate all you can. Each little effort will be much appreciated. It is our duty to help those in distress, since we have been luckier than them, and this is the best way of thanking God for keeping us saved from such a disaster.

TSUNAMI RELIEF__ CAMPS/ DONATIONS! EASY WAYS TO HELP

2005-01-02T19:53:00.000+05:00

As camps are being set up and people are joining hands to volunteer and help in whatever way poosible, I recieved some information regarding some such camps and campaigns. Here is list of a few of them.

A MESSAGE FROM NAZISH OF SZABIST(SHAHEED ZULFIQAR ALI BHUTTO INSTITUTE OF SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY)

RELIEF CAMP

message:

SZABIST joins hands with Sri-Lanka and Indonesia to set up a "Relief Camp". [Open on Sundays till 4pm] We request you to donate in kind or in any form. Collection point: SZABIST -100 Clifton (Near Swiss Consulate) December 31, 2004 - January 15, 2005 [SUNDAYS OPEN till 4pm]
"Water, granted to man as a favor, may in times turn out a disaster by the will of Allah. It is incomprehensible that man witnesses one or two floods every year and still disregards the possibility of experiencing such a calamity himself."
(Surat al-A'raf: 97-99)

PLS PARTICIPATE AND DONATE.

The GEO tv network of Pakistan has joined hands with the PUKAR of MKRF:

Their address/ account no. is:

Tsunami Relief Funds
A/C no. 010-2462-3
United Bank Limited.
Al- Rehman Branch
I.I. Chundrigar Rd.
Karachi.
Pakistan.

They have also made it very easy for people to donate if they cannot send in through banks and stuff, can simply call up and donate.

INTERNATIONAL CALL:
009221-2271295

NATIONAL(PAKISTAN):
0900-99970

( CHARGES Rs. 16.18/ min. with GST)

PLZ help in whatever way you can.
If I recieve any further information , I'll be sure to transfer it.
And before ending I'd like to thank those who ahve read my messages and have responded.

VOLUNTEERING OPPORTUNITY FOR PAKISTANIS TO HELP TSUNAMI VICTIMS

2004-12-31T20:46:00.000+05:00

I had not written anything for the people who want to volunteer from Pakistan. so here is the information I have been able to collect, and it isn't something that any of you wouldn't have been able to guess. Abdul Sattar Edhi is taking voulnteers with him to help the victims of Tsunami disaster. Any of you willing to go from Pakistan can contact any of the Edhi stations throughout Pakistan. They'll hopefully direct you where to go.
No don't think I'm going, though I would have loved to, but right now, I'm needed here, with my grandmother and mother(both ill) and also because I have exams., so I can't take off immediately, but hopefully after the exams, me and my friends plan to go, and see what we can do to help then(if we're needed then,though i wish fervently by that time, everything to become normal and happy).
anyway if anyone is interested, they can go through Edhi, or can even help by reaching your collections and donations to the Edhi outlets.
Help in whatever way you can......REMEMBER disasters come without precautions.

TSUNAMI DISASTER...

2004-12-28T18:02:00.000+05:00

The disaster that has hit thousands of people in the south east asia is not only shockingly sad, but also poses a big question infront of us. why? why ahs this happened? God cannot be so cruel! can He be? no! then why? the answer can be whatever you want to think, but if close inspection is madw, it is simply because of our own faults, our own wrong doings that we are punished in such ways. now is not only the time to think, but also to ponder over the causes of such sudden disasters hitting the world. do you know that exactly one yr back on the same day the ancient city of BAAM in IRAN had been destroyed by an earthquake? does that help you understand what i'm implying?
anyway immediately what we need is selfless dedication fo people who want to help, and stop further disaster from ensuing.just think it may have been us, be thankful to the God that it isn't and help those who need it now.
please visit: http://tsunamihelp.blogspot.com/
and http://madclub.blogspot.com and do whatever you can in whatever way possible to help the victims.

BE A WINNER:

2004-12-24T17:00:00.000+05:00

Again, something that, I had read somewhere. Really good, here it goes.

The Winner is always part of the answer.
The Loser is always part of the problem.

The Winner always has a program.
The Loser always has an excuse.

The Winner says, "Let me do it for you."
The Loser says, "That's not my job."

The Winner sees an answer for every problem.
The Loser sees a problem for every answer.

The Winner sees a green near every sand trap
The Loser sees two or three sand traps near every
green.

The Winner says, "It may be difficult but it's possible."
The Loser says, "It might be possible but it's too difficult."

Be a Winner ALWAYS!!!

DARE TO BELIEVE

2004-12-19T18:52:00.000+05:00

.I read this somewhere and thought I’ll share this with you.

Dare to Believe
Everybody Knows:
You can't be all things to all people.
You can't do all things at once.
You can't do all things equally well.
You can't do all things better than everyone else.
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's.

So:
You have to find out who you are, and be that.
You have to decide what comes first, and do that.
You have to discover your strengths, and use them.
You have to learn not to compete with others,
Because no one else is in the contest of *being you*.

Then:
You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.
You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.
You will have learned to live with your limitations.
You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.
And you'll be a most vital mortal.

Dare To Believe:
That you are a wonderful, unique person.
That you are a once-in-all-history event.
That it's more than a right, it's your duty, to be who you are.
That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.
And you'll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.

CRAZY DAY

2004-12-15T13:28:00.000+05:00

Last Saturday, I had a meeting regarding the project PHP. Well for that purpose I had to pick my cousin as well who was at the coaching at that time, and I was returning from the university with a friend in her car. Since we did not know exactly where the coaching center was, we decided to park the car in front of KFC and ask someone to show us the way. Unfortunately no one seemed to know the place and we got out of the car to search the center on foot, as we knew it was supposed to be somewhere nearby. We crossed the road to look for it and there some one gave us the directions. We came back to the car and while we were settling back into it, two school boys( not so young school boys) started to pass comments on my friend who was driving, asking her for a lift and stuff(by the way I hadn’t noticed any of it happening until the next event took place). My friend suddenly got out of the car and started to run, I was amazed and tried to see where she was heading to and found that one of those guys was running ahead of her and the other was standing there laughing. I understood much of the reason behind her sudden reaction. She shouted at him and since he was out of her reach told his friend to tell the other guy to go home and treat his own sister like that instead of treating others’ sisters in that manner. Throughout the whole scene I did nothing but laugh (not even try to stop my friend as in her place I would have not given up before at least having slapped the guy, but unfortunate for me, I rarely notice such things unless some one brings them to my notice)
After so many days it was a day when I finally came out of my depression of I donno how long.
Earlier, the same day we had had the CRAZY DAY of final year at our university. Now imagine the students who are going to be full fledged doctors by march next yr in parrot green wigs, colorful horns over their heads, guys in sarees, faces painted, almost all of them wearing clothes inside out, running here and there and shouting at the top of their voices like mad (well it was the crazy day after all), wearing different colored socks and shoes, and God knows what. We couldn’t even study in that environment and came out of our classes to watch them all. And to add to that a T.V personality and M.N.A came to the university same day for some reasons and the scene in front of him astonished him so much that it was hilarious enough only to see his face.
To add to that still, our batch was having a protest as none of us want the new Dow University degree, we all want the Karachi University degree and we were having a protest along with a press conference and I had been called from home just for the purpose(am I some sort of “bhai” over here, I’d asked them, but never got an answer except that I was needed to speak up. Well I didn’t do any such thing because I thought it was the wrong time of raising our voices, it’s too late, but next year we could have done better, after giving the University administration time to fulfill their promises and taking action after that. In the end I was proved right, and the University did ask time to fulfill our demands. Useless waste of precious time, I thought. But all the same it had been fun.
What a day it had been, we had to attend that meeting as well at the end of the day.
But come to think of it, all of my days since the last two weeks have been even more hectic than this along with my tests going on and only one and a half months to go before the final profs., I think I’m going insane. No doubt I had been so depressed all of these days and had Saturday not been such a fulfilled day, I might have landed in a pschychiatry ward myself with, if nothing more, then at least with asthymia(please don’t ask what it is! I’ve been telling enough people about it). Anyway, I think I have at least a few things less at hand now and so I’ll be able to deal with the others better now. InshAllah.

BEGGARY____A BIG PROBLEM WITH A SMALL SOLUTION

2004-12-14T16:43:00.000+05:00

Everyday outside my university, I find several small children begging us all for one thing or the other. What I find most disconcerting in this, is the fact that these children have no sense of honor or self-respect. They stick to the students, doctors, and other passers by like vultures, pulling at their clothes and following them, no matter how badly they’re treated in return.
For me, this is a very serious problem ad I feel that it’s basically our fault, who, instead of guiding these poor, uneducated and unaware children, make their habits definite by either mistreating them or by giving them whatever they’re asking for and getting away thus, from an apparently embarrassing situation.
But look at it this way! If, instead of shaking them off again and again , or giving alms to them whenever they ask, until these children become habitual of it, and thereby, loose their pride, we try guiding them to the path of working and earning.
Now the question arises, how can we make sure that our preaching is having any effect or not? And above that, how can we teach them?
A friend of mine showed me the way out of this trouble. Believe me I do follow it and find, to my satisfaction that it does work. It goes this way:
Each time a beggar asks you for something, ask him/her to do some errand for you for eg;
1- Pick your bag for you, if you’re outside home.
2- Again if you’re outside home, the child can pick up the litter from the way and pop it in a dustbin(this will also improve cleanliness conditions)
3- Help some lady or old person cross the road
4- Clean your car
5- If you’re at home, then you can ask him/her to sweep the stairs for you
6- Help you in your garden
7- Or even clean the footpath in front of your house.
After having the work done, pay the child with money as well as shower him/her with compliments for a job well done.
Before letting him/her go ask the child if wasn’t a better way of earning, than beggary.
Spread the word amongst your relatives and friends, maybe you can make a difference by practically giving nothing more than you usually do.

KANGAN

2004-11-26T16:53:00.001+05:00

Seems like I’ve been posting a lot of sad urdu poetry, so this is something to wash off the melancholy effects, though this too on close inspection has a melancholy effect to it, but MIR TAQI MIR, did not consider refreshing poetry as good poetry.
This is a poem from a new, yet extreemly good urdu poet,WASI SHAH, whose love story all the shaiyri lovers of pakistan know. Like all love stories it ended in heartbreak.

KANGAN:
Kash main terey haseen haath ka kangan hota,
Tu barey pyaar se, chao se, barey maan ke saath,
Apni nazuk si kalaee main charhati mujhko,
Aur betaabi se furqat ke khizaan lamhon main,
Tu kisi soch main doobi jo ghumaati mujhko,
Main terey haath ki khushboo se mehak sa jata,
Jab bhi mood main aaker mujhe chooma kertee,
Terey honton ki hiddat se dehek sa jata,
Raat ko jab bhi tu neendon ke safar per jati,
Marmareen haath ka ik takya banaya kertee,
Main terey kaan se lag ker kaee batein kerta,
Teree zulfon ko, terey gaal ko chooma kerta,
Mujh ko betaab sa rekhta teree chahat ka nasha
Main terey rooh ke gulshan main mehakta rehta,
Main terey jism ke aangan main khanakhta rehta,
Kuch nahi tou yehi benaam sa bandhan hota,
Kash main terey haseen haath ka kangan hota.
(WASI SHAH)

FRIENDSHIP POETRY

2004-11-26T16:53:00.000+05:00

In school I used to read these poem, and I had loved them then, and now after so many years, they’re still my favourites when it comes to friendship.

IF YOU BUT KNEW!!!
If you but knew,
How all my days seemed filled with dreams of you,
How sometimes in the silent night,
Your eyes thrill through me wih their tender light,
How oft I hear your voice when others speak,
How you ‘mid other forms I seek_________
Oh, love more real than though such dreams were true
If you but knew,

Could you but guess,
How you alone make all my happiness,
How I am more than willing for your sake,
To stand alone, give all and nothing take,
Nor chafe to think you bound while I am free,
Quite free, till death, to love you silently,
Could you but guess

Could you but learn,
How when you doubt my truth I sadly yearn,
To tell you all, to stand for one brief space,
Unfettered, soul to soul, as face to face;
My lover,and likewise truest friend,
Would you love me, dearest, as fondly in return.
Could you but learn?

TO A FRIEND!!!
You entered my life in a casual way,
And saw at a glance what I needed;
There were others who passed me or met me each day,
But never a one of them heeded,
Perhaps you were thinking of other folks more,
Or chance simply seemed to decree it,
I know there were many such chances before,
But others well, they didn’t see it.

You said just the thing I wished you would say,
And you made me believe you meant it,
I held up my head in the old gallant way,
And resolved you should never repent it
There are times when encouragement means such a lot;
And a word is enough to convey it;
There were others who could have, as easy as not__
But just the same, they didn’t say it.

There may have been someone who could have done more,
To help me along, though I doubt it,
What I needed was cheering, and always before
They had let me plod onward without it
You helped to refreshen the dream of my heart,
And made me turn eagerly to it,
There were others who might have(I question that part)
But after all, they didn’t do it.
( by: GRACE STRICKER DAWSON)

THANKYOU

2004-11-13T19:47:00.000+05:00

yayyyyyyyy it's my birthday today. from 12:00 am to 3:00 am in the mron i was reciving calls and msgs.then after sehri, when i finally slept, my mobile still kept on beeping msg tone........ and though my sleep was disturbed, i felt sooooooooooo lucky to have soooooooo many friends, and friends that remember my birthday, my very special, and very own day.and i want to thank all of them for caring so much about me and for always being there for me. i hope that im also there for you always, when you need me,and when you don't.may our friendship continue to grow and prosper. and ofcourse i thank ALLAH for giving me so many people who love me, and who care about me. and i want to thank HIM for creating me and giving em a chance to live and experience, and for making me in the best of moulds.
by the way, tomorrow, or day after it's eid, therefore eid mubarak to everyone!!!!!!!!!

WHOSE FAULT

2004-11-03T19:36:00.000+05:00

Read suhailkassim's blog.He had said something about the killings in the world and had asked did we care?everyone said they did, but also i noticed taht they asked, what can we do?
u know what i am not surprised at the state of conditions in the world, not even these deaths shock me.look at ourselves, what are we doing, is BUSH stronger, or are WE weaker? answer is:WE are weaker, bush is not at all stronger than us.we, the people of the subcontinent,have been taught , and brainwashed to fight with one another, and ignore the rest of the world, leaving them to our supposed rulers, and when we see sufferings, we ask what can we do? is there really nothing we can do? we are supposed to be the citizzens of free nations aren't we? when the iraq war had commenced it wasnt the asians who had stood up and rallied out to put a stop to the war, it was the europeans.when people die in kashmir, we dont even know the true no., but we do know the exact no. of people who died on 9/11.we never stood to stop the attacks on afghanistan,pakistan couldnt have done anything because america would have then attacked her, and indians didnt do anything because the problem was of paksitan alone, why did anyone else has to interfere.was it really only pakistan's problem, and was really apksita in such grave dangers?do we really know the truth about the taliban.no becuase they dont have proper media. do you people know that they had caged in their women to stop the 90% of their population from prostitution. they were about to spend millions of dollars to bring french educationist to teach them, albiet their being locked up in strict 'purdah'.we know nothing. we didnt care about afghanistan because the talibans were wrong in our eyes, but we never stopped to think of the millions of other afghanis who weren't the talibans.it's all our fault. we are the losers and we deserve to bear what we are facing in the hands of these supposed super powers.by the way.who has made them super powers anyway? cant we stop being pakistanis, indians, nepalis, bangladeshis, etc. and for once become humans? cant we?well if no, then we have no right to observe these moments of silence and be shocked at the state of the present day world.

USE BHI THEE...........

2004-11-03T16:02:00.000+05:00

zikr-e-shab-e-firaq se wahsaht use bhi thee,
meri tarha kisi se mohabbat use bhi thee,

main bhi aadi tha naye chehron ki deed ka,
rasta badal ke chalney ki aadat use bhi thee.

us shaam bahut der tak wo raha mehv-e-guftugoo,
masroof main bhi kum thee, faraghat use bhi thee.

sunta tha wo sab se puranee kahaniyan,
shayad rifaqaton ki zaroorat use bhi thee.

wo bichda hai mujhse tou khula ye bhhed,
saye se pyaar, dhoop se nafrat use bhi thee.

naa ho udass aye muntazir ke wo bad zauq,
keh naa saka per tujhse mohabbat use bhi thee.
(anon.)

MY FAVOURITE POETRY

2004-11-03T01:27:00.000+05:00

Have been kept busy these past few days, infact im still very busy. studies, studies and only studies in the air, and that too alongwith ramadhan.only three months to go before my exams. and im freaking out.2nd yr MBBS isnt easy job man!wonder what will become of me in the next few yrs. but yes its FUN.great fun, obviously the joy of watching someone recover is a joy forever, so unlike wordsworth, isnt it!wordsworth reminded me of my favourite poetry; here goes some of them:
kahan aa ke ruktey thay raastey, kahan mor tha use bhool ja,
wo jo mil gaya use yaad rakh, jo nahi mila use bhool ja.

wo terey nasib ki baarishien kisi or chhat per baras gayeen,
dil-e-bekhabar meri baat sun, use bhool ja, use bhool ja.

ye jo aagahi ka sarrab hai, yehi sab se berh ker azaab hai,
ye samajh wo aks-e-khayal tha, koi khawab tha, use bhool ja.

mujhe chaand bun ke mila tha jo, merey sahilon pe khila tha jo,
wo to dariya ik wisaal ka tha, so uttar gay, use bhool ja.

tou ye kis liye shab-e-hijr ke use her sitarey main dekhna,
wo falak ke jis pe miley thay hum, koi or tha, use bhool ja.
(Amjad Islam Amjad)

and another one goes like this:

use apni farda ki fikr naa thee, wo jo mera waqif-e-haal tha,
wo jo us ki subh-e-urooj thee, wohi mera waqt-e-zawal tha.

kahan aao ge, kahan jao ge, main ye pooch poch ke thak gaya,
wo jawab mujhe ko kia deta, wo to khud sarapa sawal tha.

dum-e-wapsi aray kia hua, naa wo roshni naa wo taazgi,
wo sitara kaise bikhar gaya, wo jo apni misaal aap tha.

wo mila tou sadiyon baad bhi merey lab pe koi gila naa tha,
use meri chup ney rula diya, jise guftugoo main kamal tha.

merey saath lag ke wo rou diya, mujhe bus itna hi keh saka,
jise jaanta tha main zindagi, wo tou mera wahm-o-khayal tha.
(anon.)

A MOMENT OF CONFESSION

2004-10-22T15:08:00.000+05:00

What is the criterion of testing someone? a person may seem honest, but is he really so? Think again! Are you reaching the right conclusion about that person's personality? Is all the love you're offering to that person worth him/her?
Some people are hard to open up; you never know what lies in their hearts. And then there are some people who never understand us. And then again, there are some people who are impossible for you to forget. you may not love them, you only care about them, but when they’re not there, you keep on remembering them, and then there are times, when you know that they are in distress and you're unable to do anything, and you feel helpless and despite wanting to share their feelings and be able to talk to them, you are left in your own world of thoughts, which upset you no end. And then you start to feel, if they are really worth all your worries, and then at times you feel as if you're not being totally honest yourself.
What to do in situations like these? The only solution, in my eyes, is to be honest to at least your own self. It’ll become much easier then, to be honest with others. Everything will become crystal clear, like a pool of clean, clear water, in which one can see, oneself.
That’s the only way to live a life without distress. Let’s all of us be honest to our own selves, and accept the truth of what we are, and where we stand!
And being totally honest at the moment, I want to confess, that I’ve been time and again, been, extremely rude to many people, and I have hurt many people in my life in every way possible. and I want to take this opportunity to say to those whom I’ve hurt that:
"I’m really very sorry, and, I hope that you can forgive me for whatever I have done, or said to you but I can assure you that, not once, I have intentionally tried to hurt you, or your feelings and I hope that you do understand that and are able to forget it all, leaving no breach in our friendship"

SOME QUOTES FROM MY DIARY

2004-10-19T22:52:00.000+05:00

1- Some people are like wind; they enter our lives quietly and quietly take your life away.
2- Some people are like homes, no matter how far they are, the heart yearns to be taken in them and live there forever.
3- Some prayers are uncontrollable, suddenly starting to ring in the innermost temples of our hearts without our knowledge.
4- Some hearts are very sensitive, test their strength before using words on them, if not, then, either the heart will break, or you will
5- Those people, who have beautiful memories, are never alone.
6- If you see someone in distress, take a lesson
7- Welcome adversity with a smile, it will make you stronger
8- If someone trusts you, then live up to the trust
9- If you like to succeed in life: be as sweet as honey, be as fresh as a rose, be as regular as a clock, and be sure as death
10- The unreasonable man adapts himself to the world, the unreasonable world persists in trying to adapt the world to himself, therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man
11- Only those who dare to fall greatly can achieve greatly.
12- Enlightenment must come little by little, otherwise it will overwhelm us
13- What you achieve through the journey of life is no as important as who you become
14- The journey is the reward
15- Life is not a definite station, it’s just a path
16- For every person who climbs the ladder, there are a dozen waiting for the elevator
17- Pearls lie not on the sea shore, if thou desirest one, thou must dive for it
18- The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
19- If there are misunderstandings in love, straighten them out, for love gets mad with the belief of being cajoled.
20-Love can never be with a face, it is only when you haven fallen for a heart, a soul, for faces fade away, faces can be alike, but the heart and soul are always special.

THE PERSON WITHIN US

2004-10-18T09:32:00.000+05:00

A cousin of mine recently narrated a story to me:
"A man, who was a criminal, was to be executed. He had twin brother, who was the justice of peace.
Before he was hanged, a last interview, of the two brothers was taken separately, and the same question was asked.
'Why did you become, what you are today?'
Both the brothers answered the same answer:
'With a father like that, what else could have i become!'
Their father was a CRIMINAL, and had been hanged to death as well.

i truly believe in the moral of this story.” it’s us who make the society, and not the society who makes us" and those who believe other wise are on the wrong path, in my eyes.
I’ve often found people blaming others for their own misfortunes, making excuses, for coming late, not doing a particularly important work, blaming others in a fight or in an argument, and not one of them ready to accept his/her own faults.
how often we hear the likes of:” it was his/her fault..........." or it was because she/he................" and how less we hear these:"it was because I.................." and even less often,” it was ENTIRELY MY fault.............."
though it's very difficult to accept your own fault, but you will find, that in the long run, people who admit to their own mistakes, find flaws in themselves, and then do not just forget about it, but try to improve themselves, and despite feeling ashamed of themselves, never feel ashamed of their won existence, and have the power to believe and pursue, are the ones, who EXCEL.
the ones, who blame others for molding them into what they are, who feel embarrassed of their own selves, but are not ashamed of what they are doing, are the LOSERS of the society.
Keeping a positive approach and looking at both sides of the picture, and then deciding for the brighter one, is, i feel, the KEY TO SUCCESS.

BLABBERINGS OF A TIRED MIND!

2004-10-11T11:38:00.000+05:00

I can’t write! I don’t know what to write1 there so much going is on in my brain, but I don’t know how to put it into words, to make it understandable for others. It is as if a blabbering is going on ………. And then it is as if I have nothing in my head, no thoughts, no feelings, nothing, just a numbness, a tiredness, as if I’ve walked and walked in a desert for ages and have had no interaction with anyone, and, suddenly, I’m a part of a crowd, or is it the other way round? Have I been living in a crowd, or maybe a mob, and suddenly, I’m standing in a desert, all alone, and can think of nothing!
I don; know if all this is even making any sense or not! I guess not! I can’t even understand why I’m writing all this! Have I gone insane? Or have I turned feeling less insensitive all of a sudden? Or was I that way before now? I don’t feel human! Why do I feel like this???????????

A STORY FROM OUR LIVES!

2004-10-11T11:15:00.000+05:00

He is there! Just around the corner, she has to go on, a few more steps and they’ll be one. He’s waiting. He’s tired, he has walked miles and miles, while she had stayed. She’d been stationary, even repulsive, but he had persevered. He had made every effort, overcame every obstacle, fought her repulsions, but he’s left those last few steps to her. He’d crossed all those paths, he took all the difficulties and burdens unto himself. But he’s left the plain few steps to her. He could have walked them as well, but he is a man, and he has to save his pride, and why not? He’s done so much, even waited after reaching that corner to let her make up her mind, waited in apprehension , whether she’ll honour or reject, and all he asks for, now, is to be sure of her love as well. But at last his misery has touched her heart, and she’s ready to walk upto him, and she hopes it isn’t so late yet. He’s waiting in anticipation. It seems as if he’s ready to leave his place, and come running to take her in his arms.
But ………………………………. What’s this? Gosh! She’s run right into a glass wall. He’s right across it. Oh God! She can’t pass through it, neither can he. He’s trying to break through it, she’s making her own efforts.
What is this image being formed on her side. It’s some one they don’t know. A hand appears and takes hold of her hand. It takes her away, though she fought and cried, while he tried to get to her side to try and save her. But …….. the image has turned into a reality of the present, while the reality of HIM, has become an image of the past. They’re seperated .. FOREVER!.
Whose fault is it? Hers, who had been so late in making up her mind? His, who had waited for her to take the last steps? Or of those people, who supposedly govern our lives and make decisions for us, regardless of our wishes and hopes, and we have to obey them because of the attached strings of values, emotions, and so called prestige? Who is answerable for the lost happiness of two living souls, now dead without each other?

REALITY

2004-10-11T11:08:00.000+05:00

Living in dreamland isn’t easy! The reality is very cruel, it keeps on harshly reminding you that it is there. Always and forever!
The dreams keep on being inerupted and no matter how hard you may try to persevere, it’s charm is finally broken. You give yourself up to the claws of reality abd no matter how much it hurts, your heart knows that there wasn’t any chance anyway of your being able to live in that dreamworld. The dreams go away, the heart is broken and you are torn between your desire and hpe to go back into that world and the strings that keep you pulling back into the real world. Then, you start a mission to make your dreams come into reality, but the world doesn’t like it, it shows it’s true colours to you. It had been torn away from its dreams, now it doesn’t want anyone else to succeed. It has forgotten its own misery, it is only envious, rather jealous,it can not see anyne smile because it, itself is in tears. And so the story ends……………… like many others!!!!!!!!!!

PEOPLE HELPING PEOPLE

2004-10-08T13:01:00.000+05:00

We are all aware of the fact; that man has come a far way from the point of his origin. He has advanced in fields which were once not even imaginable. Yet, aside from the wonders which he has conquered, we cannot ignore the ever so growing “DARK SIDE” of this glimmer.
It is becoming harder to survive, day by day, in this constantly modifying society. Our homes have themselves become the site of hardships. From this, a wise man could only deduct, that despite the journey he has made, man has lost things more important than those he has won over the centuries,.
Surely, the true essence of our creation speaks of us to be the humble union of body and soul. However, we deny the fragility of the soul and compensate this loss with comfort to our greed and pleasure.
The medical profession is no doubt a divine responsibility bestowed upon a selected few of the inhabitants of our land. Tougher, here too, can we observe an imbalance between the relationship of the ill and the messiah. An error based on the perversion of concepts and misleading prospects. It is a well known fact, that to heal the body, it is best, that the soul must be at ease. And so, comes in the purpose of our project. “PHP”
Our goal is to light the fire of friendship between the patients, doctors and nurses, to create a better environment for bilateral satisfaction.

What is PHP?

PHP stands for “People Helping People”.
PHP is a project initiated for improving the standard of medical ethics in developing countries with special focus on the subcontinent.
PHP is a project envisaged by doctors themselves, for the patients they serve.
PHP is a dream emerging from within the medical fraternity.

What is the Modus Operandi of PHP?

Unfortunately, instead of those who are responsible, it is people from the private sector who have been doing all the reformation work in the medical world. We on the other hand, want to ensure, the accountability of those who are playing a key role in our community viz.doctors, nurses, patients etc.

PHP aims at giving patients hope to live by adopting a different approach – a more humane, people oriented approach in line with ideal medical ethics standards, keeping in mind the problems the doctors and nurses have to face while providing aid and health to others.

What is the objective of PHP?

PHP aims at:
§ Identifying and attacking the underlying root causes for the declining standards of medical ethics in the subcontinent
§ Identifying erroneous medical practices which have been in vogue for ages but which urgently require change
§ Creating a forum for bringing together the people who are actually responsible for reformation of the medical fraternity
§ Helping them become accountable by pointing out to them what the wrong practices are, instead of bringing them to task
§ Aiding them develop and implement a road-map to achieve this change

What are the bottlenecks to the success of PHP?

The primary impediment to the success of PHP, which is also the fundamental reason for the rapidly plummeting standards of medical ethics worldwide, is the multitude of troubles and problems which doctors and nurses face.

PHP can be sustainable and successful only if these issues are recognized and resolved before the medical fraternity is asked to change their attitude.

What are the problems faced by doctors and paramedical staff?

1. Low income: The first problem is INCOME. This is essential for them to properly fulfill their responsibilities and ensure their basic survival. Because of a multitude of factors, doctors and paramedical staff start earning properly only after they attain the age of 30 – 35. Until then, their pay is abysmally low. And even after that it is only the doctors, who earn properly, and not the nurses and the paramedics.
2. Hectic and stressful lifestyle: The next is their hectic schedule and lifestyle. As a second year medical student, we haven’t even started on our medical rounds, and yet it is almost impossible for us to complete our studies properly. And our social lives are already zero. No wonder our fellow students tell us to stop this project, which they feel is a “crazy waste of precious time”. It is no fault of theirs; our inhumanly difficult lifestyle often prohibits us doctors from having the time to pause, and think, and feel. But we as a fraternity MUST recognize the importance of this project; of living up to the ideals of the Hippocratic Oath; of becoming doctors with compassion, not just doctors with skill. We must realize that, once we enter this hallowed profession, it will herald the end of our personal comforts, of our social lives. It is unfortunate but that is how we see it. We would dearly love to be proved wrong by you.
3. Other problems: Enclosed in the comfort of our homes, we doctors, nurses and paramedics often forget that we would not only come across disease and physical suffering in the hospitals for which we are aptly trained, but countless other, often ignored, factors as well, which in turn are causing pollution, and are making it difficult for the medical practitioners to work with ease.
a. Sexual harassment: Even in these times, when medical profession is said to be totally crowded by the female members of the society, lady doctors, young medical students and nurses going on rounds are not safe from the remarks and stares of patients and their family members, which puts them off, immediately, and does not allow them to do their jobs properly.
b. Illiteracy and pollution: A casual walk around the corridors of Civil Hospital during OPD timings and even through the wards will show food wrappers and packages on the ground, dirty finger marks on the walls, families squatting on the floor eating and throwing food and their small children performing their private jobs under the nearest bush. In the wards these same families are trying to feed their patients with their unwashed hands, and having lead a difficult, poverty stricken life, and in an attempt to save the lives of their loved ones, they are often found asking the doctors and nurses to financially help them, which causes the practitioners to run away from their vicinity. Also the language barrier is a big problem in the doctor patient relationship.
4. OTHER FRUSTRATIONS:
The environments of the hospitals, themselves, are very depressing, with illness all around and death a common sight, loads of students do not know how to handle the situation, and most of the doctors having got used to, remain unmoved by, it.

For any conscientious medical student or doctor, the only possible reaction is to try and put an end to all this. Yet, in our determination to achieve this desired goal we often choose the most obvious path, viz. get the sweepers to pick up the trash; send the poor families with the children out of the hospital while allowing only one person to stay back; insisting that patients in the OPD and the attendants in the ward use the bathrooms correctly and leave it neat and clean. All this having been done, have we really solved our problems? Is that pleased and satisfied smile that spreads over our faces justified?

On the face of it -- Yes.

After a second closer look -- No!

The OPD area would be clean but it would also be barren. The lack of attendants looking after their own patients would result in many patients lying alone in bed suffering terribly from loneliness and depression and being unable to call for a doctor when they need one.

Our determined conscientious doctor would then start on a mission of looking after the patients in the wards. the number of staff on duty would be increased so that each patient can ring for medical help whenever needed. The sweepers and other menial staff would have to clean the corridors every hour. The medical students would be assigned to go down and talk to the patients after classes.

Chances are unfortunately high that all this may not work. Many such proposals are shot down by the hospital administration due to lack of governmental funds. The medical students would find reasons to disappear for long hours in order to do their own studies, the excess staff would spend their time talking at the desk or resting after doing an exhausting night duty at someone’s house as a private attendant and the sweepers would be found complaining and cursing the patients and their families for being unclean.

People prefer to suffer illnesses at home or go to expensive clinics they can ill afford, rather than leave their children uncared for at-home when visiting the hospital for their own treatment. They would hence invariably bring their children along with them to the hospital.

So is this the end of the story for our conscientious doctor? Will things soon slide back to their original conditions? Possibly yes, because he tried to remove the effect rather than the underlying root causes of the pollution, dirt and filth.
The main cause for all these problems is illiteracy on the part of patients.

If the patients are given a pictorial walk-through, or given a gentle talk by an impressive looking doctor, they would learn to keep the hospital as clean as their own homes. In addition, large dustbins at every corner would make disposal of wrappers easy. Rows of public toilets would make it convenient to use them rather than the plants growing in the hospital grounds. Awarding and keeping incentives for good service, getting the staff on duty to ask the patients, to keep themselves and their surroundings clean, and pointing people out as soon as they litter, would ensure cleanliness in the hospital wards and grounds with less burden on sweepers. Providing soap as only liquid soap which falls down drop-wise would ensure that attendants keep their hands clean. An increase in the salary of the staff would greatly reduce their need to do private jobs after regular hours and would make them more attentive to the needs of the patients at hand.

What is the result of these problems?

Due to these unfortunate constraints which the medical fraternity operates within, there is a resultant systemic breakdown in doctor-patient interactions. Doctors have become less attentive, suffer from poor time management skills and hence are usually never on schedule, are always stressed out and often rude and repulsive, and suffer from a misguided sense of superiority.

What role will PHP play here?

PHP will attack the problem in three ways:
§ Conduct workshops for doctors, nurses and paramedical staff. These workshops will focus on the softer aspects of the profession, and of the importance of viewing a patient as a human being and not just as a sick body or a source of income.
§ Conduct individual one-on-one counseling sessions for doctors, nurses and paramedical staff
§ Work with regulators and hospital administrators to obtain their buy-in and improve the rules and functioning in line with humanitarian ethical standards
§ Collect funds to supply the dustbins, build public toilets, awards for different wards, and removing other complaints that we may come across.

What steps have already been taken by PHP so far?

§ Work on medical ethics and doctors', nurses' and patients' relationships has commenced.
§ PHP is going to start by teaching the outgoing (final year) batches of medical students from this year, so that the new batch of doctors is trained in medical ethics.
§ A PATIENTS' SATISFACTION SCORE, DOCTORS’ SATISFACTION SCORE, AND NURSES’ SATISFACTION SCORE have been developed. This will aid us in evaluating our work, measuring the results we have achieved, and making appropriate changes in our policies and methodology.
§ If the results are measurable and positive, we will continue with teaching other students, doctors and nurses.
§ We will also start cleanliness drives for hospitals, nursing homes and clinics.
§ At a later stage, we will expand our horizons to beyond the medical fraternity, and will begin training people how they can keep themselves healthy with just a little effort.

What does PHP need?

§ PHP needs funds for its manpower and training workshops
§ PHP needs people to help with research work. Specifically on developing the material for the workshops and the process for the workshops. Do you know people who can help? They could be doctors, managers, experienced public speakers or comperes, or even actors or writers
§ PHP needs volunteers from every city and every country where the quality of medical standards is low and needs urgent improvement

What role can you play here?

For PHP, the role played by non-medical people will be as critical as that played by the medical fraternity.

§ You can help by spreading news of PHP to all your relatives, friends, acquaintances, colleges, universities, or any organizations or sources of funds you know. Please ask them contact us, so we can build up a database of potential volunteers who we will contact as soon as the project kicks off. We promise to revert as soon as possible.
§ As a layman, your inputs regarding the areas of weakness within the medical fraternity will be very important for us to design an improvement strategy. Your observations, feedback and ideas will be very helpful. Please contact us with any suggestions you may have. We promise that every idea will be considered carefully. Our email address is given below:
daringdoctor@gmail.com

Are we the only ones wanting to help and bring about this revolution?

We would like to add here, that, all is not lost. We are not alone. The hospital administration is as keen as ourselves to bring about the change, and the dietary conditions, as we have ourselves observed and found, are better than private hospitals, and there have been many major changes that have been made in many wards and overall in the hospital. And we are, therefore, sure of their assistance and approval, and continuation and survival of our plans and project.

Come join us. Join the PHP. Be a part of the medical revolution. Help us make a difference.

And see the heartwarming results in the sunny smiles of happy patients.

OPEN YOUR EYES

STEP AHEAD
MAKE A DIFFERNCE

tum mujhko acchay lagtay ho

2004-10-06T11:28:00.000+05:00

i was just going through my college diary, and came through this poem we used to read a lot at college, a small but very nicely written poem...... here it goes,
ik baat kahoon gar suntey ho,
tum mujh ko achchay lagtey ho,
kuch chanchal sey,kuch chup chup se,
kuch pagal, pagal, lagtey ho,
ik baat kahoon ger suntey ho,
tum mujhko achchay lagtey ho,

ye baat baat per kho jana,
kuch kehtey kehtey ruk jana,
ye kis uljhan main lagtey ho,
ik baat kahoon ger suntey ho,
tum mujh ko achchay lagtey ho,

hain chahney waley aur bahut,
per tum main hai ik baat bahut,
kuch apney apney lagtey ho,
ik baat kahoon ger suntay ho,
tum mujhko achchay lagtey ho,
ik baat kahoon ger suntay ho,
tum mujhko acchay lagtey ho.

Memories

2004-10-06T10:58:00.000+05:00

Why do some words, some old times, some bygone moments, knock at our memory and, suddenly out of nowhere, we become engrossed in those moments, those times, that have, though passed away, but, have left, inerasable marks, on our memory and in our hearts.
Some of these are those that we have actually buried deep down into the darkest corners and somehow, they remain there like dying flames, but never die, and on the slightest show of warmth, they burst out, like a great fire, threatening to engulf and destroy everything that comes in its way! But somehow, nothing even happens to us, no matter how much this fire burns us up from inside, we live on, just like this fire had lived on in those dark corners.
We feel like we're breaking down, we feel as if everything is incomplete, as if life won't go on without a repetition of those moments, or without certain things or people, being there in our lives, but nothing happens! Life goes on, and so do we! We burry those memories, yet again, recollect ourselves, put a smile on our faces, and the life takes one turn after another, until we realize that," the things that have not been written in our destiny, we'll never have them, and so why cry!"

Araaish-e-khayal bhi ho, dil kusha bhi ho
wo dard ab kahan, jisey ji chahta bhi ho.
ye ia roz ik saa gham ik si umeed,
is gham-e-bekhumaar ki ab inteha bhi ho.

THORNS

2004-10-04T16:40:00.000+05:00

When your heart is wounded, your eyes don’t cry, they just loose their shine.When you have a shattered soul, your lips don’t move to say anything, they just loose the speech.When your emotions have been drained, your laugh isn’t lost; it just looses its mirth.When your feelings have been used, your life doesn’t end; it just looses its meaning.Life isn’t a bed of roses, it has its thorns already, and it isn’t necessary for others to throw their own in the way of others. If each one of us has the courage to bear our own thorns, then life would become easier for all, but there isn’t a shortage of people, who love to make it more and more difficult for others to live, but in the process they make their own life, uncomfortable and unbearable too, though they hardly realize it, because they're cowards and like to put the blame of their cowardice on others.It’s useless trying to change such cowards, they have passed the stage of metamorphosis, they won’t change, because they think they’re the best, they’re the sufferers of some sort of a complex! Leave them, before their stinging life, merges with yours, and your life becomes a story of silent tears, lonely sighs, mounting fears and lost hope, slowly poisoning your happiness and tearing away each smile that may be left in your life.Just tear away such thorns and let them find their own way, if they are not ready to become flowers. For maybe after being crushed under the feet of passers by, they may also become softer, their juice may be released this way, and they may stop making life miserable for others…… who knows, some people are born to learn the hard way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But now look at this side of the picture……..at the times when:Some things never seem to leave you alone. The more you try to evade them, the more they chase.Some times, when the life comes as a task……….one after the other, endless, and forever chasing.Some moments, some days, some years, that become too exhausting, too tiring, extracting everything out of you.Some people, then alongside all this try to take everything out of your hands, wanting to rule, wanting to be the in charge of your life.Then at times like these,
Some words of love,
Some deeds of kindness,
Some tears of understanding,
Some smiles of hope,
Some looks of tenderness, And
Some people full of care, full of life, and full of blessings for you, despite their own troubles, touch your soul, passing their warmth to your hearts, making your life easier, better and much more bearable.
Cheers to such people, all the best to their efforts and every good wish right from the heart to their spirits. here we are bound to tell them that we love them for whatever they’ve done for us, the way they’ve reformed our lives, and the way the thoughts of them make us more human, more hopeful, creating a positive approach in our hearts towards life and giving us a renewed energy to live on!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT GROWING UP!

2004-09-30T10:49:00.000+05:00

When i was in school, i read an ex-student's article about teenage, and i'd thought she must have gone mad! but now that i've once gone through that metamorphosis, i've realized, she was right it's not easy being a teenager!people who say it is, are those who are above twenty-five, either married, or otherwise, atleast settled in life!here are some of the excerpts from that article
people often tend to say,"after teenage you have to start thinking bout a carrer, settled life, marriage, teenage is the age, age for what!"
You are growing up spiritually and physically.And all of a sudden a variety of temptations from various avenues beckon you, knocking at your vulnerable door.You become uncertain.Unable to grasp the vagaries of life, you tend to pick up the trivialities___it's side growth____the habits, especially the offensive ones.You grow your ahir long, play loud music, learn to whistle, become aware of the opposite sex, try to attract them, can't, try to ignore them, can't.You hurt people without intension.you start to probe, to question.At times you even beg to differ.That is when you are cast as a rebel, a blasphemer, whne all the while you merely search for an answer, albiet in a crude manner.With your sights out of focus, and your ideals shattered, life becomes a foggy highway to nowhere.
Nine times out of ten, you retreat to your roots, and turn back to the trampled "right tracks".And for once even the adults are correct when they say, 'i told you it was a phase he/she was going through'
The tenage years are also marred heavily by education,a lthough once a person crosses thirty, his nostalgia is ripe with scholl memories.He hovers about teh time he bunked scholl, thrashed by a bully(or thrashing someelse beinga bully), and proudly dispalys a knee scar while playing for teh scholl team.
Perhaps, the memory of tenor of the skin peeling cane of teh principal is fresher thana silver strand of hair, and the pimples are more bearable than the Alzheimer's disease
Education is a part of mid-teenage turmoil, a quagmire in the mould of the mid-life crisis.There is the realization that dad is no money minter, and as popularly acclaimed, the world is not you oyster, rather a wolf which you must keep away from your door.
Incidentally throughout thsi larva stage, there is no one to be your guiding light.Your parenst can only clothe you, feed you and satisfy your material cravings.That is as far as they can go.Beyond that they cannot fine tume themselves to your frequensy.(possibly because they ahve gone through all thsi and they somehow think, that if they stop you right on time, you'll grow up without having to face the decision of moulding yourself into some1 you want to appear as in the future life, or maybe they can direct you into becoming someone, whcih according to thm is perfct, but doesn't suits you at all).SOo you take refuge with friends.A company ehere you are not judged, only understood.this perhaps explains the attraction of many towards their selectd pack of friends, even to the exclusion of their own family memebers.
A circle of like-minded, adolescent brains can cook up a nasty dish or two.There, ofcourse you have the added feature of being brought up in the twenty-first century.You are the "NOW" generation, bred on junk food, and voilence.Your brain is hyperactive, triggered off by an imagiantion that has fed on videogames, computers, music channels, mobiles and other hi-tech gadgets.You have witnessed the most publicized event fo the century,the war on terrorism,live via CNN and BBC.
In short you have seen everything.This is the twenty-first century where carreer advancement is the sole driving force and ulterior motive the onlyreason for a samaritan act.
For teenagers of the developing countries, who witness all the world luxuries but barely amnage to acquire even the basic necessities, life is tougher.Entertainment centres are few and mostly obsolete and there are few parks and agrdens, and group activities, no organised local teams or committees.With no outlet for fertile imagination, the devil takes holdand works overtime.The kids who hang out on every block like linen on a cloth can hardly be blamed for wasting their time.
Having said all thsi, teenage has its momnets.A string of first times that make these six years of life unerasable as if engraved with indelible ink.First crush, first love, first degree.....first shave.It is the initiation period, getting acquainted with a series of events you will see more of in the later years to come.
The fact that contrary to the popular belief life is not a movie, much less a beach, and more importantly, it has no sequel.There are personal disclosures too, like what is in fashion, and contact lenses look better on you than glasses.
my personal opinion to the above, is that whatever be the case, everyone has to go through this
stage, and should always rememeber the variety fo feelings and phases one had to go through,s o that when the time comes to direct a new generation through thsi phase, you are compatible to do so, and to be that frined who you teenage kid should seek for refuge instead of an outsider and become the sure prey of the devil!

why am i lazy???????????

2004-09-30T03:06:00.000+05:00

well, since I’ve had to face quite a lot of sneering at my being lazy, I finally decided to exert myself and jot down these few reasons (read excuses) for my being lazy, so that I wont have to repeat it every now and then and can direct people to my blog to read about it and let me sleep in peace!

Now first of all, what the hell is the problem with people if I’m bent on breaking the record for frying an egg in exactly an hour, or sleep the longest number of hours, after all I am doing some work, ain’t I , im not just “lazing around”, eating, drinking, sleeping, all this is included in the life processes i.e, work!
And more over what is their problem if I’m not wasting any water by washing the dishes and instead using paper plates, or rather paper for plates(I’ll have to go out an buy the plates then naa…;)), and anyway I don’t like paper being wasted either, why not utilize it.
Oh these poor people!I guess they haven’t ever heard of William wordsworth. He is such a great poet and he “ALWAYS” loved the luxury of his vacant couch…..
And probably they also haven’t had the time to look around themselves and enjoy the beauty of the world! they surely mustn’t have watched those butterflies passing by, or the busy bees in their nests, or enjoyed a lazy sleep under a tree.AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! what bliss they’ve missed..and now they want me to miss it as well.
But I ask why? Why should I not waste my time(if it’s wasting time, as they call it).The Bible says: “ A man is given three scores and ten”, that is , seventy years of life!!!!!!!wow! and I’ve just crossed my teenage!so many more years to go, not even one-third life spent,and they want me to get started to build up a life, if I do that by the age of 25-30 like so many others, what am I supposed to do when I’m 45….i’d rather laze around NOW, and become a prime minister at 45..that’s wayyyy better than what these people suggest, i still will be able to be lazy..isn't it?
And here’s a “highly personal” poem, though people have often copied it, but I assure you, it’s originally written by ME,……..believe me!!!!!
People think I’m lazy,
But I don’t think I am,
I do my exercise daily,
See I breath everyday,
And I life one eye, and
Then the other,
When you call out my name,
And close them again,
Ohhhhhh !that was hard work!
So when people call me lazy,
I don’t understand why?

See, I’ve done such hard work, I’ve even composed a poem, now "the hardworking people" can sing it whenever they feel, that I’m being lazy…ok. And now don’t disturb me, i'm wayyyyyyyyyy toooooo tireddddddddddd after blogging about all this! and I realllyyyyy need to sleep before you start hearing me snoooorrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

BLUNDERS

2004-09-17T23:28:00.000+05:00

whoosh!
what a day was yesterday, first i miss my point for my university, though i run hard to get it, then the bus i find is full to the brim, and so i have to stand in a jam packed space, and drop my college i.d., in trying to pick it up, i drop the money(my hands are full fo books and i am carrying a 5 kg bag full of books too, it's actually 5 kg, i weighed it later on). in the 30 mins drive to my coll., my shoulder are paining like hell.then, when i get off the bus, i have to cross this very busy road, and as soon as i start to do so, the signal goes green, and i nearly escape an accident...
finally i'm in college somehow safe, but in a very bad shape.i go for my class, and what's this, therez a note posted on the board, my test has been cancelled......i'm starting to wonder what's next.well i get to know soon what it is, some students from a senior batch come into our class from pscychiatry ward, trying to find out the frquency of suicides in medical students, and they call out my roll no., amongst others to fill out the form.....now do i look like the type who would ever want to do scuh a thing..anyway, i start to read it and it contains the stupidest questions i've known.fill it somehow, with my friend's help, and am found not to have any thoughts of committing suicide atleast while i'm at coll. the first good thing i've heard sicne the morn.
my classes are over so i want to go home, made the mistake of taking a bus again.this one gets punctured on its way, have to take another, which is total girls' bus, and its stops at an intermediate college gate to pick up all college girls.now it's so full i can't get out.then i have to walk a long way to get home.had a bad time waiting for me at home too.did things i shouldn't have and ended up feeling utterly vexed with myself.now i want to sleep, but know i have to make that assignment..at 1:00a.m., finally i get a chance to go to bed, but being so tired, and so upset, i can't sleep...but it's morning soon, and yes this is a new day, a fresh start, and i try making things right for myself, get some sleep too during the day, and i believe it's ending on a fine note too.Thank you Allah, for taking me through that hazardous and tiring day and relaxing me after it.
CONCLUSION:"every new morning brings a new opportunity, grab it, and get along with your life, as fresh as ever"