Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Some more thoughts!!!!!

So, im finally outta my gynae ward,and now I've landed into Surgery for atleast two whole months. Got my test marks in gynae,and well,...........MISS EFFICIENT has got 80% marks, better not tell anyone, it would ruin my reputation in the university.
Gosh!!!!these surgery people are total nuts, they want us to actually complete the evenings and do not let us go until 8:00 I don't reach home until it's 10:00 p.m. and then I ahve to come alone at night, me the poor little child !!!!
I had to do the dressing of a patient yesterday, suffering from an abscess(swellings full of pus), and thought it was dirty, I was more aware fo the pain,that I feel,each time I touched her to clean,she cried out with pain.
Sometimes,I feel,I won't be able to go through with this,I'll stop going to the hospital and would not see any patient anymore,but then I realize, if people who're thought to be as brave as me ,will act thsi way,then who will work for removal of sufferings from this world.So I summon up my courage and stand upto all these tasks.
And good that I think this way,because well......I've got friends around me who loose consciousness when the see blood........hahahaha!!!!!
sorry,shouldn't laugh,I could have been that weak myself,but thanks to Allah,He's given me the strength and courage to face all this, and thus,it is my duty, I feel to become a very good doctor.
I hope and I pray that I succeed in this task bestowed on me.Ameen

Sunday, May 01, 2005


WHOOSH!!!!!! what a time I'm having classes,wards,patients,histories,examinations,intravenous/intramuscualr injections, O.P.D., canula passing practicals,and Allah alone knows what!!!!! Tough, tiring,and yet, extremely entertaining. Yet there are times,in the ward,when i actually cry with tears,the misery, the pain, the sufferings, sometimes,it's too much too bear.
yesterday only,I'd been entering the hospital.A lot of other students were entering as well, but everyone's speed was cut off by a very old man, walking with a stick in one hand,and the other holding the tube of a catheter, alongwith the gate.He was walking with much difficulty.All the students passed by him as that time is actually rush time for all of us,adn we have to reach our wards on time. Looking at him,I remembered my own grandfather,and imagined him walking like that,all alone,and having no one to help him, and then i thought of myself(God forbid),in his place,and couldn't help shuddering at teh very thought. As soon as that man had passed the gate,he could walk no further,because the wall a little distance away,and he was too weak, to be able to walk even a step more,without assistance. At that point, I couldn't control myself, though I too had passed by him, but I'd been turning around,and watching his progress.So, i told my friends to go ahead,and returned.My both hands were full of books,therefore, I asked a man standing at the kidney O.P.D to go and help that man reach the O.P.D atleast.I was sure that once he'll reach there, there would be doctors kind enough to help him out.Atleast in government hospitals you can still find such kind people.I was relieved to find that young man,reacdy to help the old one, and after I saw that he was safely being brought, I ran for my own ward.
But for a long long time, the thoughts of that man,kept me shaken,and I prayed to my Allah fervently,not to let me live until that age,or even if i have to live, I don't want to live in such misery.and I also prayed that may Allah give me the strength to help such people more and may this feeling never leave my heart, no matter what happens in my own life.
After all, it's the feelings that govern our actions,and if the feelings are good,kind,and honourable,then only, our personailty becomes so.
Anyway, since then, my interest in studies has increased,because if I don't study, I won't become a good enough doctor,and if I dont become a good enough Doctor, how am I supposed to help people? right?
I pray that none of us reach that point where we become reliable on others for even to walk,drink and eat.